Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
