i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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