Christians are straight up FREAKS
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
