I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize