It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
