I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
