He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
