But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
