Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My pussy is not your playground.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
