can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
