well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
