just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
