are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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