you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
