She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
