I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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