I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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