i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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