Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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