She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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