Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
