So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
