If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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