trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
