as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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