She's JV to your varsity
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So many bounce houses so little time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
