I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
