I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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