Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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