I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
