my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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