We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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