It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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