he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
