Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
