look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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