Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
