He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
