There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
