have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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