bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
