I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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