but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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