lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
