3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize