what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
