If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
