My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
