oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
