Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
