I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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