I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize