Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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