you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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