There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
