Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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