Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
