Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
