Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
