The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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