seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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