He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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